Today is November 3 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is "How often do you forgive?"
As you navigate the chaos it may be necessary to find forgiveness in others, and perhaps in yourself at times.
Not forgiving others may impeded your progress as you risk holding on to resentment, conflict, or hurt for far too long.
This holding on can often do more harm than good and prevent you from successfully navigating the chaos.
Perhaps no one knows the power of forgiveness more than retired professional football player and accomplished magician Jon Dorenbos.
On August 2, 1992, when Jon Dorenbos was 12, his father killed his mother.
His father was charged with and convicted of second-degree murder, and sentenced to 13 years and eight months in prison.
Dorenbos was sent to a foster home. After a legal battle, he was adopted by his aunt and uncle.
It was during those years that Dorenbos began practicing magic as a way to distract him from the tragedy.
Magic brought peace and laughter during some very difficult times as a kid, and the biggest reason he loves to perform to this day is to bring peace and laughter to others.
Dorenbos originally attended Golden West College but transferred to the University of Texas at El Paso (UTEP) after his friend, Paul Tessier, called to ask if he would like to be the long snapper for UTEP.
Dorenbos learned the position, transferred schools and played for three years. He would eventually graduate with a business degree from UTEP. After college, Dorenbos was signed as a long snapper by the Buffalo Bills as an undrafted free agent following the 2003 NFL Draft.
He played in all 16 games for the Bills in 2003. He played in the first 13 games of the 2004 season before damaging knee ligaments and being placed on the injured reserve list, ending his season.
After training camp in 2005, Dorenbos was waived on September 6 during final roster cuts. After being cut by the Bills, Dorenbos was signed by the Tennessee Titans on October 26, 2005, the same day he worked out for the team. He played in the last nine games of the 2005 season.
He was not signed for training camp in 2006, but was re-signed on October 13 by the Titans for an October 15 game against the Washington Redskins. He was released on October 25. Dorenbos was signed to a two-year contract by the Philadelphia Eagles on November 29, 2006.
He would eventually play ten years in Philadelphia and finished his NFL career tied with Harold Carmichael for most consecutive games played for the Eagles. He was placed on injured reserve on December 12, 2016 following surgery for an injured wrist.
On August 28, 2017, the Eagles traded Dorenbos to the New Orleans Saints in exchange for a 2019 seventh-round draft pick.
On September 8, it was revealed that Dorenbos was diagnosed with aortic aneurysm, which required immediate heart surgery. He was released by the Saints the next day and forced to retire from professional football. He had immediate heart surgery and recovered to have a post-football retirement life.
On February 4, 2018, the Eagles won Super Bowl LII; Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie promised after the game that Dorenbos would receive a Super Bowl ring alongside the rest of the organization.
"My fate was what it was," Dorenbos said. "I'm just happy to be around guys I played with for so long." On February 16, 2018, Hollywood producer and Philly native Mike Tollin announced that he was making a movie about Dorenbos’ life.
As he said in an interivew “Magic saved my life and there have been plenty of times when I was lost, and I didn’t have the answers and I didn’t know where to go. So what I did is I turned to magic and it helped me find myself. It simply taught me don’t hate, don’t blame and to forgive. I’ve learned to forgive, and when that happens, we find ourselves.”
How often do you forgive others?
Perhaps more importantly, how often can you forgive yourself?
In his poem In Memoriam A. H. H. written over the course of sixteen years, between 1833 and 1849, Alfred Tennyson explores and records the grief he felt in response to the sudden death of his close friend, Arthur Henry Hallam, as well as the guilty feelings occasioned by outliving his friend.
The poem begins by asking the Lord’s forgiveness for the intense grief Tennyson felt for his friend:
Forgive my grief for one removed,
Thy creature, whom I found so fair.
I trust he lives in thee, and there
I find him worthier to be loved.
Forgive these wild and wandering cries,
Confusions of a wasted youth;
Forgive them where they fail in truth,
And in thy wisdom make me wise.
As you go about your day consider asking yourself today's Navigate the Chaos question: how often do you forgive?