Today is June 30 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “How often do you imprison a bird not meant to be caged?”
Author Stephen King wrote “Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.”
Unfortunately, today’s helicopter parents often imprison their children by micromanaging every decision, dictate their schedules, and control their relationships. Childhood, starting at its earliest ages is now a race.
But a race to where? And what is the prize? More importantly, who determines the prize? A 2009 documentary entitled Race to Nowhere examines the lives of young people across the United States “who have been pushed to the brink, educators who are burned out and worried that students aren’t developing the skills they need, and parents who are trying to do what’s best for their children.”
To paraphrase a quote from Dr. Wendy Mogel, parents need to understand that it is their job to prepare children for the road, not to prepare the road for children.
Preparing the road for a child contradicts their ability to engage in self-determination that articulates performance, persistence, and creativity, arguably three critical skills everyone needs to succeed, are best fostered by an individual developing a sense of autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
Another way to think of self-determination comes from author Frank A. Clark who noted “The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.”
As the character T'CHAKA said in the movie Black Panther "A man that has not prepared his children for his own death has failed as a father.”
How often do you imprison a bird not meant to be caged? And if you are a parent, how often are you prohibiting your child’s ability to develop a sense of autonomy, competence and relatedness?