Today is June 1 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “How often do you look at someone and fail to see who they are?”
The flip side of this question is equally important to ask “How often do you feel as though someone has not seen you as you really are?”
Successful people that navigate the chaos understand that seeing others as they are is critically important in relationships. Additionally, those who learn to navigate the chaos also work hard at making sure people understand their authentic self.
If you want to see people better, and if you want to be seen more clearly, social psychologist and best-selling author Heidi Grant Halvorson, explains why we're often misunderstood and how we can fix that.
In her book No One Understand You: And What To Do About It, she writes that most of us assume that other people see us as we see ourselves and that they see us as we truly are. But neither is true. Our everyday interactions are colored by subtle biases that distort how others see us—and shape our perceptions of them.
You can learn to clarify the message you're sending once you understand the three critical lenses that shape perception: 1. Trust: Are you friend or foe? 2. Power: How much influence do you have over me? And 3. Ego: Do you make me feel insecure? Based on decades of research in psychology and social science, Halvorson explains how these lenses affect our interactions—and how to manage them.
Once you understand the science of perception, you'll communicate more clearly, send the messages you intend to send, and improve your personal relationships. You'll also become a fairer and more accurate judge of others.
American author John Steinbeck noted “I wonder how many people I’ve looked at all my life and never seen.” How often do you look at someone and failed to see who they are? And do you have the self-awareness to understand why you failed to see that person?