Today is May 15 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is “How often do you recognize that your reaction to a situation is the problem more so than the situation itself?”
This is a challenging question because it shifts the responsibility away from the situation and onto you.
It is far easier to blame the situation instead of recognizing that you have the strength, courage, and ability to create a more intentional reaction.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps suggests four strategies to use. First, envision the person you would like to be and react in the manner appropriate for that vision. Before you react, take a moment to remind yourself of the person who you want to be in that moment.
Second, think about the meaning or origin of your reactions and you might realize that other factors unrelated to the situation are impacting your reaction. We sometimes react to a situation due to emotions related to something else that happened earlier in the day.
Third, pay close attention to the results of your reactions. Ask yourself if you are aware of the consequences of your reactions. Finally, lean a more compassionate approach to yourself. As Dr. Becker-Phelps suggested “personal change takes effort and time to accomplish; being critical towards yourself will only undermine your efforts.”
Actress Mariska Hargitay worked intentionally on her reaction when she got rejected for the show ER. Instead of blaming the casting director, she leveraged her connections, didn't take no for an answer, and went the extra mile to explain why she was the right actress for the role.
Her work on ER helped launch Mariska’s career where she would eventually go on to star in Law and Order: Special Victims Unit for over 18 seasons.
As Brazilian author Paulo Coelho noted “Your problem isn’t the problem. Your reaction is the problem.”
How often do you recognize that your reaction to a situation is the problem more so than the situation itself?