Today is June 4 and the Navigate the Chaos question to consider is "Are you aware of the five most common regrets of the dying?"
Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again." Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:
I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
The most common regret was "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." According to Ware "this was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it."
The second most common regret was "I wish I hadn't worked so hard." According to Ware "this came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
Are you aware of the five most common regrets of the dying? And what are you doing to ensure that you have no regrets at the time of your death?